The Barney Bears
In the fall of 1983, I was living in a condo in Southern California. Life was on restart. I was divorced, in a new career as a stockbroker with Merrill Lynch and had recently moved from Arizona to California. When my children were with their father, I spent many nights on my back porch, glass of wine in hand, wondering ‘What the hell happened to my life?’
Before I quite made it to the next question, ‘What do I want my life to be now?’ a friend called. We’d been working together at Merrill Lynch, then both left when he joined Smith Barney as a manager, and I moved closer to family on the west coast. He’d told me he’d met a guy at a manager’s meeting, and thought I’d like him. I replied, “I don’t want to meet any guys.” But he was persistent, called, and called, and called again. …His office is just down the street from where you live… he was named Broker of the Year… he’s single… he’s a good guy… he has a good reputation… you should go by and meet him.
A lonely Christmas passed, my first without my two kids. I could not bear to celebrate with my own family, so went back to my condo, built a fire and sulked.
Just across town, that guy I had yet to meet had a ski trip with his son cancelled at the last minute. He too was home alone and sad, staring at the fireplace. Early in January, I was driving home from work, saw his office up on the hill and thought, “What the hell. I’ll go meet that guy.” He wasn’t there. But I left my card: Came by to introduce myself. We have a friend in common, Bill Myers. He called Bill, then called me and invited me to come back in.
He later told me as I stood outside his office window that day waiting for him to get off the phone, he wasn’t really on the phone, but watching me. The vision he had in his head of the right woman for him was standing outside his office. He’d been single 3 years, dated a lot, knew what he wanted, and it was me. He told me on our second date, “I want an equal, a woman who will stand shoulder to shoulder, eyeball to eyeball with me. I’ve looked, a lot, you are the woman I’ve been looking for.” I replied, “Don’t you think you are moving a bit quickly here?”
It didn’t take him long—this solid, persistent, determined man—to convince me his vision was correct. Before we married in 1985, he hired me into his office and we bought a lakeside house together, with room for all 5 of our kids. We married on the deck surrounded by them, our extended family, and colleagues. The wedding cake was topped with 2 Barney Bears. We worked together, added another daughter who was 15 and needed a safer home, opened an office for the firm on San Juan Island, and retired in Austin in 2001. For all these 40 years he has been that same loyal, loving, solid man, standing shoulder to shoulder, eyeball to eyeball. Thank you, Dan Selak, for seeing in us what I had yet to see. I see it all now.