Church Going

When I was in my early adolescence, my mother began a spiritual search. She went off in many directions over the years, trying to find something to replace the abuse and vitriol of her father, a failed Southern Baptist preacher. I went along with her on this diverse journey, experiences counter-balanced by the steady Episcopal faith of my father and the church we regularly attended. I don’t think many children have the privilege of growing up with such freedom in thought and faith, anchored by a steady, constant one, and I am grateful for it.  

I learned young there are many, many ways to demonstrate your faith and your beliefs. I was especially moved by the glorious singing of the Black church we attended, where the hymns literally lifted me up and out of myself. I had my aura read at another service, and was told I had dancing feet, which was true, and that someone on the other side wanted me to keep dancing. Which I did. There was a healing service in a big auditorium where wheelchairs and crutches were left behind on the stage after the laying on of hands. And at a tent revival, the sinners were called to the altar to give their lives to the lord and be saved, nearly knocked to the ground by the force of it. There was even a healing pool, with warm, spritzy, sulfur smelling water where my mother and I swam quietly.

As a young adult, I continued looking on my own. I attended an Evangelical church where the congregation spoke in tongues, and found it not so difficult. My Jewish boyfriend introduced me to his family’s faith, and how it calmed their grief when his sister passed unexpectedly. Another boyfriend led me through the history and complexities of Mormonism, just before he went on his mission. In college, I took courses on The Man Jesus and Religions of the World.

Now, all these years later, my own faith is quiet and very private. While on travels, I am greatly moved by the sacred places where thousands have worshipped over hundreds of years, but I don’t attend a church myself. I have settled on a belief that there is a spirit far greater than I am, and this is both accessible and provides guidance to me. During this difficult year, and time in our history, my hope is that all have a similar source of peace and comfort. My best to you in your own journey.